i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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