Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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(509): View more from Washington

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Becoming a productive member of society?

(509): View more from Washington

Sam. Come on.

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(850): View more from Florida

Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.

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(352): View more from Florida

my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa

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(248): View more from Michigan

I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.

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