I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
