It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
