I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
That's intense
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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