Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You made out with two different species that night
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have aggressive nipples.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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