Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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