me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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