You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
