We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
