Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
