He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
