Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Too much gin, very little bucket
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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