does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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