So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize