Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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