Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Randomize
