The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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