U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
