...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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