what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
