if i died would you start the facebook group?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
