Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
