dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
