operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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