a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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