1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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