You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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