im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
