I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
