After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
