Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
