No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
