I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
my liver is dry heaving
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize