I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
