btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize