I just cut my nipple shaving
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
