just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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