you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
this boner is exhausting
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize