took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
