I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
