a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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