In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
