in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
