He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize