Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
