This is not my ceiling
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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