Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
