Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize