She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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