Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
