Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
