So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
