Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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