we're blogging at a bar
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize