Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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