babies were throwing up all over the place
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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