If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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