I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
