try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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