Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
pop tarts are not kleenex
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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